just some reflecting...goodbye, formosa!

I can't believe our time in Taiwan is really over! I remember getting off the airplane on the first day and seeing the modern skyscrapers nearby and thinking, "I will be fine!" Then, as we neared Qizhang, where Alaina and I live, it began to sink in that it really would be very different, and I started to wonder, "Can I really make it for seven weeks?" Then, arriving at Harriet's house and thinking, "These people are so nice! We will be fine!" Then later going to school and wondering, "How will I survive?" Clearly, I was experiencing some intense culture shock during those first few days, and this scenario is only one example of the ups and downs we faced throughout our time here.

I think one of the hardest things about coming home will be trying to explain the reality of this experience. Some people will say, "Oh, that sounds horrible! Aren't you glad to be back?" Others will comment, "Wow! What a wonderful trip! You saw some great things!" But neither one of these reactions can accurately reflect my time in Taiwan.  I think I was disappointed at first because so often, study abroad is glorified and made out to be this wonderful, fantastical vacation where the student spends a few hours a day in class and the rest of the time is spent having life-altering experiences. So, when that wasn't my experience, at least at first, I couldn't help but be disappointed. However, as time went on, the value of the experience became clearer in other ways. I can't even begin to explain how much I have grown personally and professionally from my time in Taiwan.

To name a few, personally, I have learned what it feels like to be completely in the minority, unable to communicate, and of both the  scrutiny and fame that come with it. I now know what it feels like to be completely stripped of cultural identity, and the need to rely on nothing but  yourself and your own personality and skill set. I have had to build on my strengths and strengthen my weaknesses in order to "make it" and leave a good impression with the people we have met here.

I have gained professionally in several ways. First of all, I can share my experiences with my students, and hopefully help them gain a more global perspective. Our principal has made us feel valued and welcome by saying, "feel free to come back anytime. You are always welcome to apply." I am fairly positive I will not return to Asia to be a teacher again, it's just not for me, for long-term. However, I was able to take part in an entirely different education system and evaluate it first hand. I saw different cultural values and how they play into the schooling here. I saw good, and I saw bad, just like I would see in the United States as an outsider looking in. It's hard to separate my cultural values and experiences from my opinions, so I can never be totally free of cultural bias, something I have struggled with the whole time. But, I have gained a unique perspective that will hopefully stay with me into my teaching career. I feel like my educational philosophy is much clearer to me now, as is my teaching style. I had to abandon many strategies that I love while acquiring habits that I would normally find to be negative practices. Again, without my culture to lean on, I could see very clearly what defined me as a teacher, and what worked and what didn't. I feel so much more confident in terms of classroom management and differentiation, and these are just two areas where what I have learned will filter back into my teaching in the United States.

So, while the teaching was often VERY challenging, as were certain aspects of the culture, I am one hundred percent satisfied with the experience. While I definitely did some wonderful things and saw amazing sites, as you all know from following the blog and seeing a few pictures here or there, that really is only the surface. I think more people need to realize that isn't all that study abroad is about. If I could advise the next person to come and teach here, or travel anywhere really, I would make sure to tell them that while the sightseeing and experiences are important, the growing and learning is just as valuable.

I have been trying to reflect the entire time I've been in Taiwan, but I am sure there is still much to process. I have grown to really love some of the people here and will miss them...and miss many things about Taiwan, really! Just to name a few:

1. fresh fruit from the market stands on our way home from school, always reasonably priced and from local farmers
2. juice that tastes so fresh and natural-apple, peach, orange mmmmm......
3. homemade dumplings from the shop near where we live
4. serene bus rides up and down the mountain to and from school, each morning and afternoon
5. the anonymity of the city as I travel the crowded sidewalks and busy MRT stations of Taipei
6. the sound of the garbage truck playing Fur Elise and watching all of my neighbors gather for their weekly gossip session 
7. the suspense of wondering what our little host dog, Deng Deng, has gotten into durning the school day
8. the millionaire sensation I get when I slap a thousand dollars down on the counter to pay for some green tea, and get $980 back
9. the freedom I feel knowing I can travel across the country without a car; the ease and convenience of public transportation
10. friendly hellos from strangers on the street, eager to practice their English skills
11. pearl milk tea, obtained on our weekly trips to the Carrefour department store
12. sharing a hot pot and good conversation around the table
13. the satisfaction of purchasing a $150 NT pair of shoes, to realize I spent $5 US
14. freshly baked croissants from the corner bakery as we await the school bus
15. the sound of the rain on the rooftop that lulls me to sleep every night, and is still present each morning

Who knows, maybe some day I will come back and experience them again!

For now, our flight leaves Thursday morning at 9:25 am Taiwan time (Wednesday night 8:25 pm USA) and gets in Thursday at 2:40 pm USA time. We will be flying Taipei to Japan, Japan to Detroit, Detroit to Cleveland. I am SO eager to get home for the holidays that the already-long flight might feel like an eternity, but I"ll hope for the best.

Lastly, thank you all so much for your support during my time in Taiwan! Whether it was just reading my blog, emailing, or sending a card, I sincerely appreciated it and could not have done it on my own. So many times I felt pretty down only to find some inspiring words of encouragement in my inbox or mailbox. So thank you for helping me stay on top of things and eventually beat the culture shock! I am so thankful for a wonderful and supporting network of family and friends and cannot wait to share my pictures and stories and finally catch up with many of you face-to-face!